Recovery connected me with community and family. I thought I was alone in the chaos I had created. I didn’t know there were others just like me. A core support group of women loved me, checked in on me, and helped me turn the corner.
For years, I had been in denial over my need for help for years. Despite having my last two four of children while using, I didn’t realize how broken my life was until my then 18 year-old daughter tried to take her own life. Life was unravelling fast.
How it all took its toll
It finally hit how my family was being affected, and how they could be further affected, if I didn’t get help. I remember the pain and uncertainty, my heart breaking at all that had happened. I remember crying out to God, though I hadn’t been particularly religious for years and years of my life. A weight lifted; I realized for the first time that I just needed to ask for help. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in so long.
It started with the next step
I started to take the next steps I needed to, which included going to treatment and letting others take care of my kids for a season. I learned to be gentle with myself. We can be our own worst critic in recovery and in life.
I learned to be gentle with myself. We can be our own worst critic in recovery and in life.
Today, with six years in recovery, I can’t get over the presence I get to have in my kids’ lives. Each day I get to take them to school and have quality time with them. There is no better time in my day that connecting with them, being in the present with them. I’m so grateful for the little details of life now, and the healing I’ve been able to experience with my own kids and family beyond.